A try-out in Jeopardy!

For Samson -- it was the locks.
Superman had his kryptonite. Achilles dealt with the darn heel.
For me, it's green peppers.
After decades of peaceful co-existence, they turned on me in the mid-80s in a big way. I won't go into the gruesome details except to say it's a plus if I stay conscious and you don't want to get between me and the bathroom.
I obviously would not have knowingly ingested green peppers within an hour of my Jeopardy! tryout in Toronto on Saturday.
I specifically said "no green peppers" in my lunchtime Cobb salad and filtered through the greens like I was panning for gold. The salad was dressed with Guacamole.
I discovered the "secret ingredient" in (that particular) Canadian Guacamole as we walked back to the try-out hotel where we were staying.
My chest and neck immediately objected with hives and other assorted angry welts as sweat dripped of the tips of my hair. The only outfit I brought for the tryout included a scoop neck black shirt and a black blazer that provided a stark contrast to my fire engine torso.
I took two Benadryl and tried to run through my vice president list one more time. On my third and final trip to the bathroom I popped another Benadryl ... or was it two?
I was a splotchy pink as I sucked it up and introduced myself to the other candidates waiting in the hall outside the try-out room. We had all passed the national online test and were all "officially" in the contestant pool at this point. But this was a competition to stand out to the contestant coordinators for our knowledge, wit and energy.
As one of the few Americans and the only one who looked like a seasick lobster - I stood out. I could see the others mentally crossing me off the list.
At least that's what I thought I saw. Things were getting a little fuzzy. The Polaroid they took for my packet was NOT fuzzy - it clearly showed my sweat-soaked hair was plastered to my head like Alfalfa.
My mouth was dry from the Benadryl. Really dry. I was wondering if it was possible to cut yourself with your tongue as they passed out the 50 question test answer sheet. New questions were read every few seconds.
We were all sworn to secrecy about the test - so you'll just have to take my word that the first two questions were really easy ... under any other circumstance. But I was numbstruck. The Benadryl had apparently blocked all reactions.
I scrawled question notes in the margin as the next questions came fast and furious. There was a blur of questions I knew easily and others that I made notes on. When I heard "Question 47" I realized I was only on the blank marked "44." I had put subsequent answers into lines I thought I had left blank.
I turned it in sheepishly explaining I'd screwed up the numbering. I wasn't about to explain the green peppers. This show is supposed to be for smart people.
The smiling contestant wrangler said it happened all the time - they know where the answers are supposed to go.
I think his name was Tony, it could have been the The Angel Gabriel. All my fuzzy mind could fathom was two thoughts. The Angel Gabriel was extremely nice and Maggie Speak, the head contestant coordinator was REALLY funny. Either one of them could have had a second career as a high voltage alternate energy source.
This was the third Toronto audition of the day but we were ALL Maggie's new best friends. She was the head coach in a Nerd Olympic trial. She walked with compassion among us, but you knew she hung with the cool kids in high school .
We were called to the front in groups of three, handed signalling devices and a live board was projected on a screen in front of us. Maggie and crew sat between the screen and the prospects. I was just starting to feel a trickle of adrenaline when I heard my name called in one of the first groups.
I took the device in hand consoling myself that I couldn't screw up worse than the written test, they gave me a free pen and it was a short walk to the elevator to my hotel room where I would sleep off humiliation and Benadryl.
But just a few questions into it, I started picking up on the energy of Magic Maggie. I answered and answered again. I'd gone from near comatose to having a really good time.
In the interview portion I talked about Avant and Marvin Hamlisch fine tuning my car radio settings. It was fun. I didn't even think about not having any saliva or seeing random blue lights.
When I went back to my seat I silently practiced signalling in on the next few groups and I was on a major league roll. It was Nerdvana.
I was actually whistling in the elevator heading back in to the room. Who needs nap? Charlie and I went out to celebrate.
Jeopardy! can call to schedule me any time in the next 18 months. When the call comes, I'm ready to hold the guacamole and get on the next plane.